Many parents no longer have sit-ins with their girls and boys to teach them intrigues of life as our grandfathers used to.
Lessons like that I learnt from Dr Kefa Bosire of the University of Nairobi’s school of pharmacy are what come in handy for young men and women to initiate them into adulthood.
Ladies, here is a glimpse of some secrets you need to know:
1. Mothers are the best confidants. The day you give birth, you will appreciate everything about your mother even if you don’t like her right now.
2. Those who do not have biological mothers are not unfortunate. They are the most fortunate coz they have the opportunity to build mothers out of many women.
3. Mothers will influence your marriage a lot.
4. Men are very similar in the most important things. The most important things to John are not very far from those of Philip.
5. Men do not change what is important to them. So if you agree to settle with a man, don’t bank on them changing. What you see is what you get.
6. Men use the same route to the water well (hope you get it). That is why ladies will always read men ahead of time. Ladies will always be smarter and a step ahead of men.
7. Thus, as a lady, you have greater power in selecting the man you want. You have total power to select the man you finally settle with. This confers a certain authority to you.
8. Once you select a man, you have power to control him. However, never ever show him the power. Never show him you are in control. Coz when you do, he will surely revolt. Men are designed in the mind to be in control. If he likes his chapatis without oil, don’t put them in oil (hope you get it)
9. If the man you marry has leas than 5year age difference with you, you will need a lot of patience and humility to cope with him. This is coz you are several years more mature in thinking than a man of your age set.
10. Usually, you degenerate in your relationship coz of communication. This often arises due to differences in maturity of understanding issues. Such issues are difficult to solve but if left unresolved, they become time bombs waiting to explode and kill the relationship.
11. You are more in power to deal with such issues, coz they will definitely arise. You have to be smarter and strategic with the power or else…
12. The backbone of a home is not a house but a mother.
13. The most important person in a society is the lady who will make a mother.
14. The most important thing a lady can do in their lives is to be a good mother. Do not be cheated by anything else.
15. You have control of the start process, control of what happens in the middle and you take all the pride in the end.
16. You are the first and the most important educator of your children. Not the teachers.
17. You do not need to produce doctors, engineers or pilots. All you need is to raise children of good character. The rest will take care of itself.
18. Being a calm, composed and humble lady is extremely hard to achieve in school.
And for the MEN…
1. There is no better social support structure than a family. Do not experiment a lot.
2. There is no ugly lady. Its all about the physics of attraction. Its either there is resonance or none. The type of ladies you attract will always be constant due to resonance.
3. It is difficult to live in a house with a woman you do not trust. If you cannot build trust with your lady, you cannot function well as a man.
4. Who in your ancestry is being remembered today? No one. Everyone will be forgotten. So don’t try to be a legacy. It will be a waste your time and energy.
5. What then is important? Know that you’ve come from somewhere and you are going somewhere. In between, you are writing your script to enter somewhere. Everything else fades away. At your deathbed, nothing will matter.
6. When in a valley walking and flood waters come, what do you think about? Is it your car, your degree or your position? No. You think about your life. You try to hold on to it and carry it out of danger.
7. There are only 3 things to life;
a) Enjoy what you do
b) The only pleasure that is entirely yours is what you eat and drink
c) Always pursue the path of peace. For as long as you pursue things, you will not have peace.
8. If you do not love what you do, quit and pursue what makes you happy. Do not confine yourself to things you do not enjoy doing.
9. No matter what amount of money you have, you can only drink one bottle and eat one plate.
10. Do not be driven by any kind of pressure to kill yourself. Not even you wife.
11. You must be the best mentor of your children. The beat character must be seen in you. You must be like God on earth for your kids. This is what will enable your wife to do their role in upbringing.
12. If you fail, you will make life hard for the mother of your children and extremely hard for your children.