Life of a bachelor

When a lady tells you that you just ain’t her class and type then you walk away with your head down, grimace clearly written in your face, you feel belittled, your self esteem is lowered, no more drive in you, disappointed and brought to the ground; it takes time to forget about the incidence and finally you get to overcome it and forget about everything. You move on with your life and assume her existence. Although once in a while you stalk her in the social media, going through her photos while salivating and at the end of photo trip you are reminded of the rejection you got, you feel bad and switch off your data. After sometime you totally forget about her.

Then one fine afternoon your phone rings (strange number calling) you pick it and the first thing you hear is a sweet female voice shouting your name with a lot of happiness.

You ask her to identify herself and all she can say is “Kwani hunijui? Aki woishe”(Aah, you mean, you don’t know me?). Snd you respond, “I don’t know you and am not going to talk to you anymore lest you identify yourself”

She is now scared after realising that you are nolonger a comedian like you use to be five years ago. She clears her voice and says, “Aki(for sure) am sorry for lacking manners, my name is Becky; yule mwenye ulimeet na yeye Kisumu-tuskys (the one you met with at Tuskys supermarket, Kisumu), yaani(at) kengelez around 2012…unakumbuka kweli?”(Do you remember her?).

After this you come to realise that it is that lady who forced you to change your school after telling you that you dont belong to her class. Since it is a surprise, you give her some time to see how the events unfold. She proceed, “Aki si umegrow…umekuwa mhuge adi siku hizi uko na kitambi…si unaskia poa……aki am longing to see you nione venye unakaa siku hizi” (for sure you have grown, can see you have potbelly meaning things are okay with you. Am longing to meet you again).

You assume her statements and ask her how she has been for the last 5 years. She answers that and proceed to the next question…..”Yani all along uko tu hapa Nairobi na haujawahi kunitafuta hata, aki wewe ni mbaya” (So all along you have been staying here in Nairobi and you haven’t bothered to find out where I am yet I live here too?).

You still lack words because you are still teaching your brain to accept the strange turning of events…..She proceeds..”Byda mi nastay huku Roysambu, na wewe?” (By the way, I stay at Roysambu, Nairobi). I am forced to answer “Mi nastay Ngumba/yaani breweries hapo nyuma ya Garden City” (I stay at Nyumba estate just behind Garden City Mall.

She proceeds, “kumbe uko tu karibu na mimi na huwezi nitafta ..aki woishe…….Aki nataka kukuona tunameet when?” (So you stay just around here and you haven’t bothered to trace my whereabouts? Tell me, when are we meeting?).

You misalign your lips with despise, almost producing a “mscheeeeeewwwwww” sound but you remember that you are on a call. Then you hold it on. She continues, “I have a lot to tell you, just create sometime for me please”.

You look at your schedule and you realise that you can only meet her in the evening after your daily endeavours. You book her for a coffee meeting at one of the Javas in town over the weekend. With fear of more questions you decide to end the conversation and after hanging up her call, you start asking yourself a lot of rhetorical questions. You be like, “So nowadays Becky has time for me? Have I improved in terms of class? Did she fail in her class and forced by the teachers to repeat the class and now I have caught up with her?…..What changes have you undergone to make her yearn for a meeting with You?? And by the way, who gave her my phone number?”. After all these questions you remember that Karma is your elder sister and she will always fight for you in your battles

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